Feeling Feelings

It is mid-April in Kansas City.  Dreary, cold weather has lingered on and on.  We are used to some bright, not-too-cold-or-too-warm days this time of year, but those beautiful days have not been around this spring.  I heard complaints, both inside my head and in my ears from my kids: “I’m so cold.”  Mom lecture #27: “Soon you will be complaining about how hot you are.”

Last week, the clouds broke, the sun came out and the thermometer rocketed up into the 80’s.  “I’m so hot!  Can’t we turn on the AC?”  Of course,  mom lecture #28 ensues: “No!  It’s April!  We are not turning on the AC!  It will soon be cold again.”  (Maybe that is actually lecture #27B.)

Twelve hours later the wind began to blow with a vengeance. We were under a tornado watch all day.  For those not from the mid-west, this is the deal:  we had a 40 degree drop from hot to cold in less than 24 hours and, as we all know, hot air rises a.k.a. WIND!  A lot!   I was not worried about a tornado.  No, it was my daffodils and tulips that were being pummeled by the wind that I was concerned about.  Ha!

I gathered a big bunch of them so I could enjoy them inside just in case the wind—or a tornado—wiped them out.  That was one of the best decisions of the week.  I enjoyed that bouquet so much and it kept me smiling through the layer of snow that came two days later.

A decade ago,  I read Becky Baily’s “Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline”.  She used an analogy that stuck with me. She compares emotions  to the weather.  They are going to change.  Some days are cloudy, others sunny or rainy.  If you see your emotions as passing feelings like the weather, you don’t have to get bogged down into the feeling storms.

This idea is a big foundation piece of The Holding Space Practice.

When a feeling storm comes and takes hold of you, what do you do? That is what the module “Feeling feelings” is about.

I found this video by Kim Eng that describes, in real time, what this work is about. She responds to a young woman’s question and walks her through the process.  Watching this could bring up feelings for you.  If you want to learn more and have support, begin (or continue) your Holding Space Practice work.

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