In case there is any misunderstanding, you should know that I spend more time “distracted” than I want to admit to you. I have to work at feeling centered, grounded and connected with my true self. It is not automatic. I have to continue to practice.
That said, bit by bit, I spend much more time connected now than I used to. I can move into that space faster and stay in that space longer now using the Holding Space modules, but I still find myself confused, frustrated, foggy and disconnected a lot.
“A place where time and space are fluid; where inside and outside meet” is an attempt to describe what I feel like when I am in a balanced, plugged-in-with-my-true-self place. It is a state where my mind, body and spirit feel unified.
What about all the time when I am NOT in that place?
I have many days like that!
One day I wrote in my “Raw Thoughts Journal” about feeling that way and gave hints into the process of finding my way back. Here is my entry:
Monday, July 31, 2018
I have not connected yet today. It is after 4 pm. I don’t think I quite connected yesterday (Sunday) either. Saturday I had a lot of unscheduled time. That day I did full Ashatanga Yoga Primary series with a recording. My body did the poses but my mind was not quiet.
Sooo…today… I write. It is a tool I use to call out, open up, and settle down until I feel connected inside. I’m looking for the time and place where inside and outside meet. The zone. My zen. Bliss.
I don’t know why writing my thoughts is helpful, but it is. Just writing about nothing. I seem to need so much nothingness to find that still point. I practice and find it… then distraction, duty, life-tasks happen and it’s gone again.
Can’t I learn to find connectedness in everyday life?
The spirit of “A La Orden” helps me.
When I remember “It’s my pleasure” to cook, clean, launder, wipe, drive… when I can remember my true joy and pleasure is everyday common life… THAT is key to merge my inside (mind and spirit) and outside (my physical body) and feel “in the flow” more consistently.
I can’t always let go of time and space and be a responsible human on this earth with its necessary schedules, plans and agreements with others’ schedules and plans. But I can let go in a few meditative minutes at least once a day to connect my inside and outside worlds and let that carry me through my daily tasks until my next “letting go” practice.
I trust that as I continue to patiently hold space for myself, I will learn how to keep that connection going more and more non-stop.